Monday, April 28, 2008

Oh Universe. Your constant need to be in balance is so obnoxious sometimes.

You know that feeling you get when everything is going freaking amazingly and all your friends are happy and life is good and birds are singing and the sky is blue etc, but then God and the universe are like, "Um, nope, not that happy" and slams you with an slap back to reality?  That happened to me today.

For the sake of not sharing all my friend's lives for the world to see, I shall change their names to characters from Thoroughly Modern Millie.  That way if my friends aren't ready to share their stories, they don't have to, and I get to hum songs from Millie throughout my typing this part of the blog.  Win-win.

So anyway, last night, I got a call from "Millie" that she was engaged!  Words can't describe how excited I am!!  Her finance "Jimmy" was very nice to spare her for the 30 minutes it took for us to adequately squeal and laugh and cry and reminisce.  Needless to say, I was completely floored, and my friend is happier than I've ever seen her, and for that I am overwhelmingly excited for the two of them.  Once the story is told, and her Facebook profile is updated, I shall share that story because it's awesome.

Then, another friend of mine this morning "Trevor Graydon" informs me that he has been cast in a kick-ass musical in a starring role.  Totally amazing!  I am so happy for him!  He deserves all the success that is coming his way, for he is truly one of the most talented people I've had the pleasure of meeting since starting my New York adventures.  More to come on this later as well. 

Anyway, I had brunch with Em and Nick this morning (no need to hide those names, right?), and afterwards I was on Cloud 9.  Seriously, walking on air.  Completely thinking that the universe had some amazing positive fancy energy out there, I was looking forward to becoming a part of that.  I was humming along just thinking about my good friends' great fortunes.  And just being happy.  I know I've said that a lot, but I really was.  

Anyway, I called my mom to talk about a great meeting I had on Saturday afternoon (another reason I was happy!) and she interrupted my gushing to tell me, "I'm really sorry to have to bring you down from this, but Katherine's father passed away unexpectedly this morning."  (Katherine is my cousin Mark's fiancĂ©e, and they are getting married in August.)  I know a lot of people would read the paragraphs above this and say, "well, naturally something bad was bound to happen!" but that's not really how I roll.  I'm not a person who holds back very much emotionally speaking, so when my spirits are high, I'm literally flying; and therefore, when the bottom drops out, I'm completely crushed.  I was literally walking up 2nd Avenue practically skipping at the start of the phone call with my mom, and within seconds of hearing the news, I was crying and heartbroken.  For the next few hours, every time I would think of Katherine having to prepare for her wedding without her dad, I would dissolve into a crying mess.  At Barnes and Noble, at Starbucks, at work.  I'm sure on a deeper level it's because when my wedding comes, I won't have my dad around, and that sucks and all that jazz, but on the surface, I think that I just find myself Quantum Leaping* into people's emotions.  I suppose life would be a lot easier if I could distance myself even a little bit, but then I guess I wouldn't be the person I am now.  So, I guess I'll just try to keep my personal emotional roller coaster on the track and realize that without the high highs and the low lows, life would just be a series of that really flat part of the roller coaster when the ride is over and you're just coasting back to the start.  Look at me and my metaphor skills.  

I suppose I'll end this somber post for the night.  In the end, I suppose I don't really mind the intense feelings my little Pisces mind conjures up.  I am genuinely thrilled to be able to share in my friends' exciting adventures and accomplishments when they are overjoyed.  And, though usually, it's not an easy thing to do, sharing the tears and disappointments matters just as much.  Maybe more?  I guess it's just my way of trying to reach my own equilibrium with the universe.

*Disclaimer: I never actually watched Quantum Leap because it came on at the same time as Lois and Clark.  And I think we all know which show won my loyalty...

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Ok, you caught me

Yes, that's right, I didn't just type that last entry today.  I wrote it about 2 weeks ago, and just never posted it.   I get a little bit of blog entry posting anxiety thinking it won't be good enough.  Time to slay those vampires and get back into the groove, as many things have happened since my last (real) posting from Houston.

#1  Yes, the rumors are true.  I totally quit my job last week.  After many agonizing hours of conversations (not for me, but the people who had to listen to me), it became clear to me that touring in the UK just wasn't a great fit for me.  Additionally, it was causing me to stray pretty far from the flashy, sparkly, song and dance musicals I want to be working on.  So, that's that story.  I'm amazed at all the time I have now.  Not just during the day, but evenings and weekends free?  It's like a dream!  So many, many, many thanks to the people who helped me through that entire process and for putting up with my need to talk through every single scenario that might play out.  

#2  I bought a new computer!  omg.  It's so cute.  I'm completely in love with it.'s a Mac.  Yes, I surely went into the Apple store, and was like, "um, I want one because all my friends have one!"  Thankfully, my sister was with me, so she had many more intelligent questions, while I was like, "ooooh! pretty!"  So anyway, "Mac" my new MacBook Pro has been keeping me very happy with all my new found free time.  And, yes, it's very shiny and new!

#3  [title of show] is going to Broadway!  Though this doesn't really have much to do with me, I am so very happy for them, and I can't wait to see the gang again on the big Broadway stage.  Not that I'd mind being their assistant company manager.  Anyone??

That might be enough for the list of things going on with me.  I'm currently meeting with any company manager who will see me in the hopes of getting something going soon.  So, think good thoughts about that.  

Besides that, I'm just loving relaxing a little bit and getting reacquainted with TiVo.  I saw Sunday in the Park with George and Cry-Baby since I've been back.  I'm still hoping to see Curtains before it closes, and am I the only person on the planet who hasn't seen Spring Awakening yet?  It might be true, and after watching the B-roll on loop for two weeks while I would walk through the lobby of the Hobby Center, I must say I'm intrigued.

Must go get my laundry, then I have to run into the office for a few minutes to print the Amex check and make a phone call or two.  Hope you're all enjoying this lovely weather we're having today!